The 10 Most Absurd Products for Men

absurd products for men
Foto: CC0 / Pixabay / Sammy-Sander

Gendered marketing is a common technique employed by many different companies. Sometimes, it can be downright ridiculous. Check out some of these absurd products made exclusively for men.

When we think of gendered marketing, we often think of products made for women. As the world we live in is generally made for and by men, commonplace items such as razors, deodorants, drinks, and toothbrushes are often viewed as conventionally masculine. Therefore, there is a market for products designed especially for women. 

Still, there are other traditionally feminine products, such as makeup, which many men may feel uncomfortable purchasing and using. The following absurd products for men show how far gendered marketing can take us. While many of these products are laughable, they also serve as a sad reminder that gender roles have convinced many men that they aren’t allowed to use moisturizer or do yoga alongside people of other genders.

1. Skincare

@Lumin.skin

Lumin provides skincare products exclusively for men.

Because it may seem too girly to care about the health and appearance of your skin, many brands have come out with skincare lines made specifically for men. Dove, Nivea, and Clinique are just a few companies that have marketed facial cleansers, toners, and moisturizers, made especially for men’s skin.

Some companies have built their entire brand around providing skincare for men only. On its website, Lumin describes its products as “premium care for the premium man.” Unlike typical skincare products, Lumin’s products are made for men’s skin which is “thicker, tougher and structured differently than women’s.” Of course, there is absolutely no evidence that any of this is true. Skin is skin, people! In reality, the only thing that makes this moisturizer different from others is the packaging and design. 

Lumin has strategically used Instagram marketing to convince thousands of people they need a special, somehow “manly” skin regimen. Of course, the products are ridiculously expensive as well. 1.7 ounces of moisturizer goes for $28.

2. Absurd Products for Men: Yoga

Making special yoga classes for men only helps reinforce destructive gender norms.
Making special yoga classes for men only helps reinforce destructive gender norms.
(Foto: CC0 / Pixabay / theMilsEdition)

Apparently, some men feel that they cannot engage in regular yoga with the rest of society. That’s what Broga is for. Broga is a yoga class geared toward “bros.” Broga is a type of yoga that incorporates core-strengthening, muscle-toning, cardio, stress-reduction, and functional fitness.

The goal of these Brograms is to provide a peaceful, stress-free environment to help bros feel more balanced and connected. Maybe nobody told Robert Sidoti, the creator of Broga, that regular yoga already focuses on all of these things. 

3. Makeup

Luckily, it says "for men" on it.
Luckily, it says "for men" on it.
(Foto: Tomford.com)

Makeup is a traditionally feminine product, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be used by men. Just like with skincare products, there is no reason why we can’t all share. Still, gendered rules and regulations tell men they aren’t allowed to reach for the regular foundation in the drugstore. If men want to wear makeup in a manly way, they should get makeup made for men! Luckily, this exists.

Makeup for men is made by brands like Tom Ford, Gentleman, and War Paint. War Paint, similar to Lumin, uses all-black packaging. They advertise their makeup as tough, strong, and masculine, unlike all the other foundations, concealers, and contours on the planet.

Of course, if men feel more comfortable wearing makeup advertised for them, that’s their choice, but does the packaging really make a difference? In the end, it’s the same product going on your face, no matter what the box looks like. 

4. Wine

Yep, this actually exists.
Yep, this actually exists.
(Foto: brose.world)

Are you a man who loves rosé but doesn’t dare drink it due to fear of public scrutiny? Of course, men aren’t meant to drink rosé; the color alone is a dead giveaway! Rosé is a girl’s drink! If this is you, you’re in luck, because Brose makes a rosé especially for dudes and bros. A truly absurd product for men, Brosé is a “male-focused rosé wine,” whatever that means.

The company’s goal is to produce a high-quality drink that men aren’t afraid to be associated with. Unlike conventional rosé, this one is made for men only, which means they are allowed to drink it, even though it is still pink.

We don’t need to spell out how absurd this is, right? It’s actually sad that an entire company exists in order to fix this nonexistent problem. Just go to your local supermarket and pick up a bottle of any old rosé, you guys! Nobody cares what color your drink is! Truly, anybody who does care is not a person whose opinion is worth your time and energy. 

5. Hand Sanitizer

We had no idea conventional hand sanitizer was too womanly for men.
We had no idea conventional hand sanitizer was too womanly for men.
(Foto: CC0 / Pixabay / sweetlouise)

Bath & Body Works makes a hand sanitizer in the scent “studly apple.” It’s called “Mr. Mom,” we’re guessing because everyone knows that only moms use hand sanitizer? Of course, they could have called it the “Dad” sanitizer, but I guess being a parent who cares about cleanliness is just too feminine. The Mr. Mom sanitizer is aggressively sterile looking, with no fun pictures or design whatsoever. Make no mistake, this sanitizer is for men only.

6. Absurd Products For Men: Candles

Are your candles manly enough?
Are your candles manly enough?
(Foto: CC0 / Pixabay / congerdesign)

Candles made for men by the brand “Bro-Pourri” come in four manly scents, including beer, root beer, bacon, and the 18th hole. Men can’t enjoy regular scents like vanilla, cinnamon, and lavender. Of course not! Man caves can’t smell sweet and refreshing, they must smell like food, drinks, and golf. 

7. Sunscreen

Have no fear, men, banana boat is here.
Have no fear, men, banana boat is here.
(Foto: CC0 / Pixabay / chezbeate)

It looks like regular sunscreen just isn’t doing the trick in protecting manly skin from UV rays. Banana Boat’s sunscreen for men fixes this problem by providing “triple defense” to all those hardy men in need of sun protection. Packaged in the traditional manly color, black, this sunscreen has all the same ingredients as any other sunscreen. It only has SPF 30, but somehow, this is the toughest stuff there is for men in need.

8. Chapstick

ZERO shininess.
ZERO shininess.
(Foto: evolution-man.com)

Evolution Man has produced a chapstick made especially for men. It has no color or sparkle. In fact, it has no “shine” whatsoever. This is what sets the Evolution Man chapstick apart from all the other girly chapsticks.

This is a bit confusing, as it seems impossible to provide moisture without any shine whatsoever. Even licking your lips or drinking some water will leave your lips with some shine. However, for those men who are worried about having shiny lips, this seems to be the best option.

9. Coffee

This coffee has got to be one of the most absurd products made for men.
This coffee has got to be one of the most absurd products made for men.
(Foto: mammothsupply.co.nz)

Mammoth Supply Co has solved the issue all men have been suffering from. Finally, a “no-nonsense” coffee, made especially for men. The Mammoth Supply iced coffees come in chocolate, mocha, strong and original flavors. Some of them offer up to 45 grams of protein as well!

Aside from the added protein powder, there’s really nothing special about these drinks. They do have a giant mammoth on the packaging, though, perhaps designed to invoke feelings of strength and power in men who are otherwise concerned about drinking regular lady coffee.

10. Absurd Products for Men: Tissues

Is your nose too powerful for regular tissues? Kleenex has the solution!
Is your nose too powerful for regular tissues? Kleenex has the solution!
(Foto: CC0 / Pixabay / Hans)

Even Kleenex has gotten in on this gendered marketing scheme. If you are looking for an ultra masculine box of grey “man-size” tissues, look no further. These tissues are meant to fill all of men’s nose-blowing needs. They are super big and have the “strength you can trust” even when wet!

While these tissues are still on the market, Kleenex did change the name a few years ago. Luckily, the marketing department came to their senses and decide to rename the tissues to “Kleenex Extra Large.”

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