Saying "I love you" comes in many forms, such as words of affirmation. Using languages of love, you can express your feelings in a way that boosts those beautiful people in your life.
Human beings can easily misunderstand one another. Taking time, and thought, to consider the needs and desires of those you love, may lead to healthier relationships, according to Gary Chapman, who first introduced the ‘five languages of love’ back in the early 1990s. In this article, we explain what these languages are, and how to introduce them into your relationships using words of affirmation examples. Don’t worry, we’ll explain what these are, too.
The five love languages explore how people can positively receive and express love within relationships, be they with a partner, lovers, children, friends or family. They might help you maintain a long-distance friendship, for example. With the techniques, you can learn which elements boost the people in your life — by ‘learning their language’, as it were. In turn, people in your life may learn your love language, increasing your own happiness and wellbeing.
Feeling loved and appreciated is vital to empowerment, and knowing that you care and are cared for, are ingredients for successful relationships all-round. Some people will find these languages come very naturally, others may struggle to speak and act from their hearts. Using Chapman’s languages, which include words of affirmation, can help those who wish to express their love more fully.
What Are the 5 Love Languages?
Chapman wrote his book “The 5 Love Languages” (first published in 1992) after noticing similar patterns of talk and behavior with couples he was counseling. His thoughts centered around how many people misunderstood each other’s wants and needs. He narrowed things down to five areas, where he thought affection may grow, if utilized. He identified areas where people could not just express love, but boost confidence and trust.
The 5 languages:
- Words of affirmation: Expressing affection through kind, supportive and encouraging words, notes and messages.
- Quality time: Giving someone your undivided attention. Actively listening and responding, without distraction. Check out our guide on how to gift quality time — a combination of two of the love languages.
- Physical touch: Tactile engagement. Physical affection, including hugs, hand-holding, a supportive consensual touch, or massage, for example.
- Acts of service: Actions that assist the other, such as running errands, helping with chores, and generally just putting that little bit more time in to help.
- Receiving gifts: This is more about thought than money. A little gift is a symbol of love and appreciation. Making an effort to show someone you are thinking of them, can be well treasured. If your loved ones also care about nature, learn about minimalist gift ideas or other creative gifts for environmentalists.
You’ll likely know yourself what your languages are, and by engaging with the above, you will soon learn the languages of others in your life. It may be that languages differ between you, which is absolutely fine, but you may be able to navigate your relationship more effectively, if you learn to listen to their responses.
By the way, under the name of ‘appreciation’, words of affirmation also have their place in a different framework of love languages. Learn more: What Are the 7 Love Languages and What Do They Mean?
More on Words of Affirmation
Words hold great power. We often know through language and behavior how other people feel about us. Yet how many of us don’t express love as much as we’d like, or have it expressed to us?
You can try a simple exercise. Next time you are out doing your shopping, pay a complement to someone, and see their response. Chances are you will at least make them smile. Using words of affirmation with people you love in your life will likely strengthen existing bonds, and create increased happiness. The other side of the coin is that knowing how to communicate with your partner can help you understand how to set boundaries in a relationship, without negatively impacting it.
In order to love and express that love to other people, it can be helpful to have great appreciation for yourself as well. Try learning self-love, for example through positive affirmations, or mindful journaling prompts for adults.
What follows are some words of affirmation examples, which can be used for many situations. These are easy to adapt, and once learnt can be incorporated into your loving vocabulary. As you read them, you can also imagine how they would make you feel, being said to you. Adding your own voice, by tailoring the words, will make the people in your life feel extra special, and they will understand just how much they mean to you.
Words of Affirmation Examples: Accomplishments
Praising the people in your life for their accomplishments is a wonderful way of expressing love. If someone has worked hard, and gets little feedback, they may feel deflated. Offering encouraging and heartfelt words, be that spoken, or in a message, will let them know you understand the work they put in:
1. “You did that so well.”
2. “I’m really proud of you.”
3. “I admire your determination.”
4. “You’re an inspiration!”
5. “You always amaze me.”
6. “What a great job.”
Examples of Words of Affirmation for Character Traits
Positivley commenting on someone’s character can give a real morale boost, and can remind people that you think they are amazing. These are are pretty endless list, as perhaps are all the things you love about the person, or people you are with:
7. “You’ve such a kind spirit.”
8. “You’re so gentle and caring.”
9. “I love how you listen.”
10. “You never give up.”
11 .”You’re so much fun.”
12. “Your honesty is beautiful.”
Affirming Your Appreciation and Gratefulness
Being appreciated is truly one of life’s gifts. Most of us have had time when we have felt under-valued. Here are some words of affirmation for feeling grateful to have someone special in your life:
13. “Everything is better when you’re here.”
14. “I appreciate it when you …”
15. “You are one of my favorite people to be around.”
16. “You make my smile.”
17. “I’m so thankful to have you in my life.”
18. “Thank you for being so wonderful.”
Support as Words of Affirmation
We can’t do everything on our own. It becomes overwhelming. Knowing people are there to support us can give us that extra boost to keep going. It works both ways to, to support and be supported:
19. “I’m here for you.”
20. “I’m here to listen, anytime.”
21. “I couldn’t do this without you.”
22. “Your support means so much to me.”
23. “You help me so much.”
24. “Thank you for taking the time to do this with me.”
Words of Affirmation Examples for Encouragement
With a little encouragement we sometimes feel we can do anything. Open up your heart and show those that you love that you totally believe in them:
25. “You can do anything.”
26. “You help me feel like I can do anything.”
27. “I love how you see the world. Never stop that.”
28. “Your pizzas are the best!”
29. “I love your ideas.”
30. “You’re always gorgeous.”
Chances are, if you are smiling at any of these, then someone else will to.
- Learning Self-Love: How to be Good to Yourself and Why it Matters
- Morning Affirmations: 10 Positive Ways To Start Your Day
- Long Distance Friendship: Maintaining Relationships from Afar
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