Getting ghosted has become more prevalent with modern dating, but that doesn’t make it any less hurtful. Learn how to recognize if you’ve been ghosted, and how to deal with it.
Rejection hurts, especially when you’re left confused and without answers. Ghosting is a specific type of rejection in which the “ghoster” takes no time or effort whatsoever to end the relationship (romantic or platonic). Rather, they behave simply disappear, like a ghost in the night. They stop responding to your messages, unfollow you on social media, and may even block your number.
Ghosting can occur at all different stages of a relationship. The decision to ghost, rather than having an open and honest conversation about one’s feelings, is often seen as the easy way out. People often ghost others because they are scared of having a tough breakup conversation. Ghosting is therefore a reflection on the ghost, not you.
Are You Getting Ghosted?
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If you are dating or friends with someone and you haven’t gotten a response from them in a while, it’s possible you’re being ghosted. The best way to handle this is to be honest. Be honest with yourself, and think if there’s anything you’ve done to warrant this behavior. If you are still unsure of where you stand, check in with the person and communicate your feelings. Consider texting them, “Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while. Are we good?”
Sometimes, reaching out in an open and honest way can start the dialogue you need. On the other hand, if the person does not respond, there is nothing you can do about it. If you reach out and get no response, you can safely assume you’ve been ghosted.
How To Deal With Ghosting
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Getting ghosted can be quite painful, and may bring up a number of emotions: embarassment, anger, confusion, sadness. Use these tactics to avoid the common post-ghosting emotional pitfalls.
- Accept the situation: Once you recognize you’ve been ghosted, you may be tempted to continue texting the ghoster, begging for an explanation. This is unproductive. Once you’ve reached out and gotten no response, you have to accept that you may never know why you were ghosted. People have many reasons for ghosting: they may be afraid to face you or have a difficult conversation or they may think it’s “easier” this way. Either way, you will not be able to benefit from the clarity that a breakup conversation would have provided. It sucks, but the sooner you accept it, the better.
- Stop dwelling: Part of accepting the situation includes not dwelling on the relationship. It can be easy to spiral out of control and ruminate on conversations you had in the past or wonder if specific actions palyed a role, in an effort to rationalize the ghosting. This will only make you feel worse. Instead, recognize that ghosting is more of a reflection on the ghoster than it is on you.
- Feel your feelings: While it’s best to accept the situation and avoid dwelling over the past, this does not mean you’re not allowed to feel and process your feelings. Ghosting will understandably leave you feeling hurt and confused. It can be more painful than a typical breakup, because you are left with no closure. Make sure to process your emotions by talking to loved ones, allowing yourself to cry, writing a journal, or creating art.
- Self care: Engage in self care by doing things that make you happy. Spend time with friends and family, engage in fulfilling hobbies, and make time for relaxation. Make sure not to isolate yourself from the people, places, and activities that make you happy. Take extra good care of yourself while mourning this relationship, and it will slowly get easier.
Read more:
- 6 Tips to Help You Set Boundaries In Your Relationship
- Hoovering: 10 Signs It Might Be Happening to You
- Flying Monkeys: Are You the Victim of a Narcissist?
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